So, Ive talked to Brandon three times now that he's been in Colombia. We talked for 35 minutes last time, what a freaking phone bill! Good thing Im not the one paying for it! HA! It was a good conversation though. We both know that we've been with a few people (me more so than him) over the last few months, but that we can both put that behind us if we decide to get together. As he said, "it doesnt matter". And thats true. As long as we're both loyal when were actually in a relationship, what should it matter what and who we have done while were NOT together? I just hope that this trip helps him find what he says he needs, and I hope that while he's gone I can find what I need. People are saying that Brandon left to get over me. I understand if that is what he told them, but I also hope they understand that is not what he's telling me. And as always, even though he's fooled me before, I believe him. I dont like to go on hearsay. I was with him the night before he left, and he genuinely sounded like he meant what he was saying. We made love, and I mean, not like just fucking like we had been the week before, we made actual love. You know what I mean? It was nice..He held my hand while we were out walking the streets of Chi-town. He hugged me goodbye at the gate and said "I love you". Its hard not to believe those things. You all must think Im an idiot. I guess you could be right, but for now, Im happy. Im happy to talk to him for 35 minutes. I happy to be making plans with him for me to fly down there in July. We're gonna go to the San Andreas Islands. Can you imagine?? How beautiful it must be down there. He says Ill love it. I want to meet his family and his friends... overall I guess I just want to see him before Aug. 4th. Its so complicated. Me and him are complicated. We'll never be your average couple. And I dont think thats such a bad thing. We've been "apart" for quite some time now, but its strange how you can continue to love some one even though youre not together. He says he's never stopped loving me and I guess Im the same way. Maybe this trip is just what the two of us need. He told me when he went to Nicaragua that while he was down there it hit him so hard that he still loved me. I never would have believed that "if you love some one let them go" crap, but it seems painfully true right now. Who knows, well, I just wanted to continue on this truthful road and let you people in on a little tiny sliver of the relationship of "Lauren & Brandon". Its a never ending saga I tell you! I love him to death and from what he tells me he feels the same. ARRRRGGHHH, I guess I should stop talking about him before it makes me cry... Lets see, nothing on the job front so far. Broke as a joke. I put in a few applications last week though, so hopefully some one will call. Ive got to save up like $500 more dollars for this bogota trip. My parents are helping out with a butt load of it thank baby jebus. And Ive gotta get it by the end of July. YIKES!! It'll work itself out Im sure. Everyone is doing pretty well. Kristina got her old job back at the java! So hopefully that will help her with some of her mounting exspenses. Spence is still good ol spence. Dave moved back in with the fam till the wedding. Chris is still at the apt... Im actually over there right now, we're having a slumber party! Woo hoo! girls night!! Lindz has a lot on her plate right now, but she's one of the strongest people I know so she'll pull through. Anyhoo, this is rediculously long. I guess with this whole honesty thing Ive got a lot more to say on here. JEEZ. If anyone cares Ill keep you up on the B-Dog info...Ill be talking to him again very soon Im sure. Probably tomorrow or the next day. Anyway, love you all and sleep tight!