PS- I talked to Brandon today for all you kids who would like to know, he is doing extremely well in Bogota. His family is awesome and his school starts this coming Monday! And also, dont call his house after 8pm. His family tends to go to sleep extremely early. AND he has class on Mon-Fri from 9-12 so he wont be home at those points. Anyway, just letting all you who care know!

Ive come to find it ridiculous that people thrive off drama. Im tired of drama. Ive made a conscious decision to not be such a typical girl and eliminate a lot of drama from my life. Why have drama? I have good friends and not much more is needed. A lot of this drama will be eliminated since I have adopted the idea of truthfulness. No more lies. Thats what Ive decided. Sooo, since no one reads this damn thing anyway here goes:

1.Spencer and I made out... everyone was told and its ok now. Everyone is still friends thank god. It would suck to lose great people over such a stupid mistake.
2.Brandon (of course) was who that last journal entry was about. Im sure no one is surprised, but me and the b-dog have been talking about considering trying the ol' relationship thing again. NOTHING HARDCORE SERIOUS,we just hooked up quite a few times before he left (damn hot might I say!)..... BUT, nothing will be decided until he gets back from Bogota. BUT, if Im still single and he's single.... who knows? And if anyone has a problem with that I don't care. Im not pushing him into this nor is he pushing me. We're just trying to figure out where we are when it comes to one another...OK?
3.I tend to hate myself. Ive got a pretty thrashed self-esteem, and obviously that comes out when Im drunk and "hook up with" or go home with random guys. I plan on rectifying that starting 2 weeks ago. Woo Hoo! NO MORE LAUREN THE HO!!
4.I apologize to any people I have offended or made angry in the past, a recent situation has completely changed the way I look and act towards others. I appreciate everyone I hold close to me and everyone in general now...Brandon, Lindz, Dave, Spence, Kristina, Chris, Gus, Aaron, Johnny, Chad, Sarah, Laura, Andy... and all you other kids Im missing. I LOVE YOU!! Good ol' Gus can attest to that!

Anyway, thats a start... Im sure I have a lot more to say, but I guess those are just the few things that were weighing on my mind the most at this point. No more lies I tell you!

So, its really hard to say goodbye to some one you love. I have the unfavorable task of doing that this coming Monday. Its not permanent or anything, BUT 2 and 1/2 months is quite some time. I havent gone 2 and 1/2 months without this person in over 4 years. Creepy huh? But, this will make him happy, and if he's happy then he says he can make me happy, I dunno. You figure it out, cause I sure the hell can't. Who ever knows with me and him? We're like one big freaking bouncy ball with all the up and down nonsense. Love, it's such a jumblefuck.... Not like you all probably don't know. SO ANYWAY, saying goodbye sucks and I'm sure its gonna be one of those weepy hug and kiss and cry while he gets ready to board his plane and what not.... blahblahblah, Im such a flipping girl!!!

So, I was just thinking. Im a pretty all over the place type of girl. I was browsing around on the internet and realised that I had just been to the cubs, sf giants, espn, mlb, polyvinyl, stlpunk, outkast, mos def, enon, postal service...etc. webpages. Kinda a jumble funk of sports and music I guess. I love music. Something about it makes me happy. I dont necessarily know why, but it does. I'll pretty much listen to anything. I also love to dance. Not many people I know like to dance, or at least cant dance very well (no offense to you, and Im not bragging about my mad skrill, although I do bounce with the best of them) so I dont dance very often. I wish I had some one to dance with...
I love sports. Here's the order:
1. Pro baseball (All of you who remotely even know me know Im Springfields biggest Chicago Cubs fan, girl wise anyway)
2. College basketball (Illini all the way baby those damn brackets during March madness are addicting)
3. Pro football (Its kinda back asswards, but Im a St. Louis Rams fan... BUT, I became a fan while they were still in LA, and I also root for da bears just to stay true to my chicago family)
4. College football (Illini again, but obviously we suck big time so its not my main priority)
5. Softball (only because I played all through jr. high and high school)
6. Hockey (Im just getting into this one, so it may be on its way up)
7. Soccer (World Cup is amazing to watch)
8. Pro basketball (I truly despise where this sport is going and it may be on its way down)
9-?. Every other sport left.(Either I really hate it, or it doesnt get enough air time for me to learn to love it)
But even with the sports being the major part of my life right now, Im still a girly girl who love make-up and shoes and skirts and purses. Sometimes I don't even think I could figure myself out....huh....